Agency

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

-Aristotle

As a child, I remember thinking it was impossible for me not to do my homework. Because somehow, no matter what, I always finished my homework. It felt inevitable.

Despite theoretically being able to do whatever I want, I sometimes feel I have no options. I feel like I'm a problem-solving machine, and it's all I'm here to do.

Optionality

We have nearly infinite life paths. You could stop everything you’re doing and move to another country and town where no one knows you. It’s likely a bad choice, but you could.

It’s a bad choice because we have commitments. You’d leave your friends, family, and job. If you’re a good person who sticks to commitments, options become limited.

Commitments

Running a company can feel like slavery. 

My friend recently went through a founder crisis and said he hates everything. He looks at his calendar and dreads his week. We’re all servants to past commitments and obligations. Our past selves made decisions that our present selves must contend with.

We want things that help us progress to feel inevitable. It leads to growth. Growth is made through the deliberate practice of our choices. However, to progress, you must fail. It sucks. But that’s part of the journey.

I go back to the equation for life satisfaction:

[Total life satisfaction] = ([Pleasure] + [Perceived meaning]) * [Perceived time lived]

Sacrifice is necessary for perceived meaning. It’s hardwired into us that something scarce is valuable. It’s why bitcoin is worth anything. It’s all perception and artificial, but it’s scarce. 

Our problems in life are given to us, but within each problem, there are options.

Embracing Constraints

Say you found out that the optimal design for the safest and best-looking car is a circle with an 18-foot circumference. Even if you can prove why, it’d never work and wouldn’t matter because the width of lanes in America is 12 feet. We live in a world of constraints. 

There are the laws of physics, the rule of law, and societal and cultural norms. But it’s not all bad.

What makes art and games great are the constraints. The complexity comes from the simplicity of games like chess, go, and Mario where movement and control are limited. 

Constraint is the mother of creativity.

-Satoru Iwata, Nintendo’s former CEO

We have choices—choices within commitments, choices within constraints. By recognizing our underlying agency, even when it feels limited, we can navigate our obligations with a sense of purpose and direction. This agency empowers us to find meaning and satisfaction in the paths we choose to walk, no matter how predetermined they seem.

We exercise our agency within our life commitments and constraints. Our past selves create a structure that guides our present selves. We can make choices within this structure that align with our values and goals. This perspective transforms the narrative from one of limitation to one of empowered direction.

The Paradox of Choice

Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice suggests that while freedom and autonomy are critical to our well-being, too many options lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction. When we commit to paths, we reduce the overwhelming number of choices to a more manageable set. Picking a path doesn’t diminish our agency; it refines it. A set path allows us to focus on making meaningful decisions.

Imagine simultaneously choosing to be an astronaut, comedian, writer, painter, engineer, and carpenter. Pick one and get good at it before doing them all.

Navigating Obligations

Our obligations, whether professional or personal, are not just burdens to bear but also opportunities to demonstrate our values and character. Honoring commitments to support friends and family, especially when challenging, is a testament to our integrity and dedication. It’s through these moments that we define who we are. 

By embracing our commitments, we can discover new aspects of ourselves and our capabilities.

Finding Meaning

Finding purpose in life’s challenges is essential to our well-being. When commitments constrain our paths, we have the power to imbue those paths with meaning. It’s not just the freedom to choose that matters but the ability to find significance in our choices.

I remember talking to an Eagles band member over a decade ago. He said he’s not always stoked to play Hotel California for the ten thousandth time. But somewhere in the crowd, it’s someone’s first concert and a fan who saved up for weeks to be there. People who decided to spend their evening listening to him. Families who came to the concert to bond across generations. So, each time he plays, he gives it his all.

It’s not easy, and sometimes he has bad shows. But he does what he can to remember this as it nudges him to perform.

Balancing Pleasure and Meaning

Our commitments lead us to deeper, more meaningful experiences. Although they may not be pleasurable in the moment, they contribute to our overall life satisfaction. This balance is essential.

In the grand tapestry of life, agency is the thread that weaves through every choice and commitment. While it may feel constrained, it is the constraint that gives our actions depth and significance. 

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.

-Jean-Paul Sartre

By finding meaning within our commitments, we exercise our agency. We’re not mere problem-solving machines; we’re architects of our destiny, shaping our lives with every decision we make.