Death

Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.

-Haruki Murakami

I went to a funeral. A funeral for someone who never breathed a breath. It was a small funeral. But there were hundreds of people, friends and family, awaiting their arrival. Their little heart stopped beating. They died in the womb. They would have been someone I knew until either of us died. Instead, I’ll never know them. I’ll never know the person they could have been. The potential they had was limitless, and now it’s gone. 

Death is a scary word.

As George Carlin said in his standup bit, American society prefers soft language. Shell shock had its name changed to battle fatigue, then to operational exhaustion, then to post traumatic stress disorder. It’s the same thing, we just put a nicer name on it. A name that distances us from the harsh reality. Shell shock is simple and to the point. It sounds like something that needs to be treated. Post traumatic stress disorder sounds like someone had a bad childhood and should maybe see a therapist.

Similarly, we “pass away” instead of die. Changing names for things doesn’t change reality. It makes us less in touch with what is real. So let’s talk about death.

Unfortunately, I’m no stranger to death. I’ve had a number of friends and family die in my life. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it blunts the blade. A friend died in a helicopter accident. Another friend passed away from a pulmonary embolism after getting limb lengthening surgery. I’ve had three grandparents die as well as an aunt and two uncles all related by blood. And most significantly, cancer killed my mom. 

A number of acquaintances have died. I try to remember something I learned from them and carry it on in my life. It can be as simple as a dance move a family friend taught me in Aguascalientes. One that hit hard in a weird way happened during a business deal. The person who signed the contract passed away before the final closing. We let their estate cancel the contract as they had no idea what was going on. I’ve had deals fall through last minute, but I remember thinking I’ve done too many deals if the few days between signing and closing, a party dies. 

I’m not sure of the lessons to glean from the funeral I attended. There’s potential in life everywhere. Life can blossom, and life can end at any time. Be grateful for our life and the lives of those we love… that’s all I got.

Death is ever present. It makes our lives meaningful.

What’s the purpose of our life if not to live and make the most of our time here. There are thousands of ways to make the most of our time. It’s our own game. I write about the human condition as it’s our character in the game we’re in.

All insects must die. All fish must die. All animals must die. All humans must die. There is beauty and meaning in life. It should be cherished.