-George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
Some people are ashes. They’ve been burned so hard so often that you can’t hurt them. They’re effectively immune.
Ash People
Business
The media tried attacking Larry Ellison for being a playboy and philandering with his employees. Ellison admitted to having multiple consensual relationships with Oracle employees. He openly has an account on Seeking Arrangements. Ellison has no secrets for the media to attack him with, as he admits to what they attack him for.
Politics
Trump, Biden, Newsom, and AOC are the political versions of ashes. Xi and Putin are authoritarian ash people. They’ve done every bad thing and had every bad thing said about them. If you take one individual thing Xi or Putin did, e.g., murdering their political opponents, they’d be disqualified from polite society. But they’ve done that times thousands. What more can you do or say to burn them?
Burning Ashes
You can’t burn ashes. Attacking them is only going to get ash on you. I mean, they’re already ash. That’s their life. So when you joust with an ash person, how do you win?
Understanding motivations and empowering your allies are table stakes. Let’s borrow some relevant learnings from Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power:
Law 1: Never Outshine the Master. Ensure that your actions do not appear to threaten or diminish the ash person’s status or power. Any attempt to influence should make the ash person feel like he is ultimately in control and that the outcomes align with his interests and legacy.
Law 6: Court Attention at All Cost. While engaging with an ash person, maintain presence and ensure your actions and words are noted.
Law 11: Learn to Keep People Dependent on You. To be influential, you must become a key player in achieving the outcomes that the ash person desires. If your role or contribution is seen as indispensable, your ability to influence increases.
Law 13: When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude. Find ways to align your requests or needs with their interests or goals. This makes it more likely they'll respond positively, as it also serves their purposes.
Law 28: Enter Action with Boldness. When you act, do so boldly — and if you make mistakes, correct them with even greater boldness. Boldness brings admiration and power, especially from ash people.
Law 30: Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless. Make difficult feats seem effortless, and you’ll inspire awe in others, thus useful to ash people. Seem formidable. By contrast, when you make too much of your effort, your achievement will seem less impressive, and you’ll lose respect.
Law 39: Stir Up Waters to Catch Fish. Whatever makes the ash person seem strongest will be their course of action. Leverage indirect influence over their environment instead of directly confronting them.
Law 41: Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes. Forge your own path and establish a unique value proposition rather than trying to beat them at their own game. This is why DeSantis and Vivek never had a chance against Trump in the Republican primary. People prefer the original.
Law 43: Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others. Influence those around the ash person. Look for systemic ways to neutralize their influence or actions.
Law 48: Assume Formlessness. By not committing to a single approach or being predictable in your actions and strategies, you can maintain the flexibility needed to adapt to the ash person’s responses and the evolving political landscape.
Besides the above, speaking less and listening more is a powerful strategy when dealing with a highly defensive ash person. It prevents them from jumping to conclusions about your intentions and correcting them when necessary.
Play the Game
In politics, it’s more work to beat a stupid person than a smart person. You can’t argue with stupid, but you can beat stupid with the right strategy. It’s just more work than any normal person wants to do.
You can make fun of the game all you want, but if you want to win, you need to play it.