It Goes Both Ways
We can reframe and recast our lives… with the truth of who we are and of who we are choosing to become.
-Sandra Marinella
Concepts can be sticky. Our society knows about stress, PTSD, and the placebo effect. These are widely discussed. They each have equal, opposite versions that aren’t as widely discussed.
Eustress
Stress is a state of worry or mental tension. It’s generally negative and can lead to bad psychological and physiological consequences. Eustress is moderate or normal psychological stress, interpreted as being beneficial.
Eustress makes us stronger. It’s the pressure in the pressure cooker. It’s lifting weights to build muscle. It’s doing cardio to improve your lung capacity and cardiovascular health. Without eustress, one is complacent and cannot build resilience.
The ultimate way to build resilience is to overcome a life changing hardship.
Post Traumatic Growth
Post traumatic stress disorder is now widely known. Many are forever scarred from their experiences in war or extreme emotional conditions. Post traumatic growth is the opposite.
Watching Peter Jackson’s They Shall Not Grow Old documentary on WW1– many veterans interviewed said that nothing bothered them after the war. Nothing in their life was ever as bad as trench warfare. The disease, wounds, and constant threat of death they and their fellow soldiers suffered. In comparison, everyday work and life are easy.
It’s like playing a game on legendary mode. Some people will forever regret the experience. Others who power through will look at normal mode and think “well, it isn’t as bad as legendary.”
Post traumatic growth is incredibly common. Vietnam war veterans were some of the most successful entrepreneurs. Business is nothing compared to war. They started businesses like FedEx, GoDaddy, RE/MAX, and Kinder Morgan and climbed their way up to be executives at and run the Fortune 500 from Foot Locker to McDonalds.
Life is an unending series of problems and complications. You can’t stop the problems, but you can change how you think of problems. You will get sick, your plane will be late, you’ll be injured, your phone will break. This is what happens in life. Expect problems to arrive.
The key to happiness is to hope for the best and expect the worst.
I think about death all the time. The tragic, random death of my friends, family, and of myself. I think of how life would have to go on after any of these. From history we know that there’s almost no end to human resilience. If it’s possible to overcome, we can. I hope for the best, but I expect the absolute worst. It’s a weird dichotomy.
When someone says they can’t imagine life without someone or something, I can’t relate. I can always imagine life. It’s heartbreaking, but I feel it gives me immunity in the worst case scenario.
Lack of resilience is a massive problem in our modern day society. Post traumatic growth should be equally embraced as post traumatic stress. Negative thoughts have cascading consequences.
Nocebo Effect
Chainsaw Man is a fictional world with devils created by humanity’s fears. Devils gain power when people fear them. If no one fears guns, then the gun devil is weak. If everyone fears guns, then the gun devil is formidable. The devils are only as powerful as the sum of human fear. It’s the nocebo effect personified.
The placebo effect is the positive effect of purely using our mind. If we think hopping on one leg twice a day will cure our cold, it actually might. This is why throughout history there were so many witch doctors and faith healers before the enlightenment and modern medicine with peer reviewed, documented experiments and control groups. The placebo effect is strong, and the nocebo effect is the equally strong opposite effect.
If we think something will make us sick, think we have a weak immune system, or think we’re depressed, then the act of us thinking so, will make it more likely. If we think something will lead to a negative reaction, it will be more likely. If we think something will lead to a positive reaction, it’ll be more likely too.
The most basic advice in dating is to assume attraction. Assuming the other person is attracted to you makes them attracted to you. If you assume the other person is not attracted to you, then they’ll likely not be attracted to you.
The nocebo effect raises ethical issues.
Do we want to list all the potentially negative side effects of drugs? The act of listing the negative side effects leads to an increase of those negative side effects. If doctors were to administer the drug and say there were no negative side effects and all negative side effects are psychosomatic, then there’d be a massive decrease in side effects.
Similarly, when a celebrity commits suicide and it’s publicized, total suicides increase over the next month. Suicide becomes a more apparent option to those who are going through depression. Negativity spreads.
I prefer giving people the truth and informing them of the nocebo and placebo effect. Thinking we’re helpless makes us helpless. Thinking we’re strong, makes us strong. Choose your own adventure.