-Theodore Roosevelt
The majority of my essays are derived from conversations. The others are from internal thoughts. My internal thoughts are derived from interaction with the outside world.
Our minds work by creating a predictive model of the world. It’s why so many mind tricks work. The algorithm our minds use easily break down during anomalies. Our minds on a macro level can be relatively predictable. It’s why studying history is so fascinating. Humans tend to do human things. We tend to make the same mistakes.
A Losing Formula
One pattern is when a smart, ambitious man creates a legacy. Maybe he was amazing at business, or he’s the best at sportsball. Extraordinarily successful, smart, ambitious man marries a very attractive, less intelligent, less ambitious woman. They have medium intelligent, medium ambitious children. The now father has high expectations for his child. The child cannot live up to expectations.
Father is upset with the child for not being able to do what he could do. Father pushes the child away. Child pushes the father away. Child goes on to be an artist or do a non-profit. Child spends money and supports anti-capitalist campaigns. A contentious relationship remains.
This is a common pattern. Friends of mine who grew up with these types of individuals, say this happens ~70% of the time. Most often with sons. Managing expectations in life is half the battle.
Balance
Any given job has things that suck. No job is enjoyable 100% of the time. A lot of people enjoy half their job and dislike the other half. There will be meetings you don’t want to attend; Emails, contracts, and memos you don’t want to read; Presentations you don’t want to give. This is true for everything. Getting to enjoy 80% of your job is amazing.
There are people who enjoy 80% and despise 20% who want to change. It’s good to first understand what a change would entail, e.g. many want to run product at a tech company. Running product sounds fun and sexy. You get to chat with people and find out the core problem. It’s your vision. In reality, customer development and creative thinking is part of running product, but it’s not as big as it seems from the outside. Product usually means project management and writing and iterating on super detailed specs all day. Product writes the problem and use cases out so that even someone who doesn't know the area can understand. The grass is always greener.
We all have to deal with shit. It’s on each of us to deal with it— the outcome is what matters. As a founder, as Ben Horowitz writes, nobody cares about your problems.
And they are right not to care. A great reason for failing won’t preserve one dollar for your investors, won’t save one employee’s job, or get you one new customer. It especially won’t make you feel one bit better when you shut down your company and declare bankruptcy.
All the mental energy that you use to elaborate your misery would be far better used trying to find the one, seemingly impossible way out of your current mess. It’s best to spend zero time on what you could have done and all of your time on what you might do. Because in the end, nobody cares, just run your company.
There are many roles that sound sexy until you realize what they really mean. Being famous sounds awesome until you realize who it attracts, and that you can never have your privacy back. Find a job you enjoy 80% of the time, and you’re winning.