Types of status

Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works.

-Carl Sagan

Every successful salesperson I’ve known is a master at playing the status game. Same goes for socialites, networkers, and business people. What is status? High level:

Status is the position that one holds in a given system. It means the location of the individual within the group – his place in the social network of reciprocal obligations and privileges, duties and rights.

Thus, every position (father, mother, teacher, and employer) defines a different status. It is by status differentiation that social positions are defined and distinguished from one another by assigning to each a set of rights and responsibilities.

Status in one sector may not translate to status in other parts of life-- if one holds family status as a patriarch, it doesn’t mean they have any status in their profession. A doctor/teacher/CEO with high status may be the sibling everyone picks on, i.e. low status in their family. Bloomberg may have status in the finance and business world, but on stage at a Democratic debate in Nevada, he’s depicted by his colleagues as an egotistical billionaire trying to buy the election. Obama may have been president of the US, but his daughters made fun of him for being a super dorky dad.

Some types of status feel more icky than others. Status that is earned feels better than status that isn’t earned. At the same time, if someone has accomplished great things in their life, and they have to say “do you know who I am?” It’s icky. If you dig deep enough into it, pretty much everything can be status. It used to be called qualifying but kids these days call it “flexing” so let’s go into the different ways one can flex:

• Knowing someone-- I’m friends with this powerful person/celebrity can be icky but it can be fine if it’s within context of the conversation. Name dropping can be an icky behavior, but if you have mutual friends then it’s just sharing people you likely have in common.

• Knowing about something-- having studied or researched. It’s a form of status to know about when a local restaurant opens. Knowing about esoteric novels and reading material. This is called being cultured and is a classical way society judges others. It shows you prioritize keeping up with the community.

• Having been somewhere-- having been to a club, restaurant, country before. Being well traveled/experienced is also part of being cultured.

• Ability to analyze-- this shows you have a high IQ and can spar. This tends to be valued more in certain intellectual circles and is highly differentiated from rote memorization. This is generally perceived as a more positive form of status… at least in my circles.

• Having a skill-- Is it high status to play the guitar? How about the ukulele? Warren Buffet thought so... I mean, the woman he loved was dating a professional ukulele player so he learned to play. Going up to a woman at a bar and saying you play guitar is cringeworthy. It’s also a status play as some women may be into it, and it’s not something you’re born with.

• Ascribed status-- given by virtue of birth. This can be everything from wealth to family status to your looks to the size of your dick. Versions of this status can be more or less icky. Having good looks is arguably the best form of ascribed status as you don’t have to do anything to prove it. People can see you’re attractive. It’s icky to tell someone you have a big dick. It’s also icky to say who your family is, but my friend from a famous fashion family always introduces himself by his full name and people love it. It depends.

• Showing wealth/resources-- getting tables at a club, flying private, cars, jewelry, yachts, Michelin star dinners, five star hotels, mansions/lofts, etc. When told about these things, it can be icky. When shown these things, it’s less icky.

• Achieved status-- earned by merit. Having a PHD, being an Olympian, an esteemed author, a successful entrepreneur. These go a long way when people naturally find out about them. Even achieved status can feel icky if brought up by the person themselves.

• Social status-- being socially and emotionally adept in any given situation. This is often perceived as the highest form of status as it enables one to be high status in a situation without utilizing other status flexes. In a perfect world, one could survive by this alone, but in the business world and in the real world, one has to have other versions of status beyond their wit/linguistic abilities.

There are hundreds of types of status. How status is displayed is a huge factor in whether it’s icky or not. Non-icky status is naturally shown or brought up. Icky status tends to be needless exposition added into a story/conversation to qualify oneself. “I was riding my bike yesterday when I remembered to call you” is different than “I was riding my carbon fiber bike yesterday through Stanford’s campus where I’m on the board, when I remembered to call you.”

Status symbols change. Leisure time used to be a huge status symbol, but now it’s a status symbol to be busy. We can ignore status as successfully as we can try to not have an ego. It’s best to be cognizant of status, utilize it to our advantage, and try to avoid the icky kind.