Responsible

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

-Voltaire

At my friend's wedding, the bride and groom delivered the best wedding vows I’ve ever heard. They were raw and emotional and captured the essence of their love. It’s also my birthday this week, so I feel more reflective than usual.

I have an innate sense that prestige and status are silly. It’s all a game. None of it matters. But equally innate is the feeling that each of us is responsible.

We have our commitments to family, friends, loved ones, and society.

Strength

I feel it deep within my being, the need to be strong, to protect. When I help or defend a friend, it feels like I’m fulfilling my purpose.

Strength is ultimately more mental than physical. Strength to change my opinion when I’m wrong. To make decisions and stand for what is true. Stand for what encourages the flourishing and betterment of humanity.

Those who are capable and moral have a responsibility to be strong. If moral people are weak, they’re useless. It’s why I’m not a monk. I’d be happy blissing out and meditating all day, but I wouldn’t provide for anyone or anything. It’d be selfish.

Win and win, and win and win again. Be competent, efficient, disciplined, and ruthlessly prioritize. That involves being cruel when needed. Life is not fair. You need the capability to be a monster to defend against monsters. Have it under control. Turn into a monster when the time comes.

Knowing

We’re responsible for understanding the human condition. Understand why there is evil and why there are people who would do evil acts. 

Those under Mao, Pol Pot, Nazi Germany, Stalin, and the Hutu militia. Understand why people supported North Korea and Hugo Chavez. They are people. People with similar motivations to all humans. They’re just as strong if not stronger. We need to understand them and love them to be able to fight them.

Focus

Focus on what is under our control. That which is not under our control is of little importance. We have opportunity costs— spending time watching the evening news, or reading about the latest tragic death does nothing. We only have control over our own world.

Is what we’re doing necessary? Concentrate on what actually matters. 

Resilience

Struggle. Life is not fair. Deals will fall apart. You will fail. Difficult paths build character. It’s ok to fail. Someone who has never been through hardship hasn’t lived. Things that are worthwhile are achieved with effort.

Feel grateful for any situation that happens, good or bad. You’re still the same person. You learn more from failures than accomplishments.

Anyone you look up to has been through hell. You’re no exception. Be ready for hell.

Talk to the Dead

Reading gives us the ability to talk to the dead. Understand what those before thought.

You’re alive during the best time in history with the most access to the past. We have the power to converse with the greatest minds of the past who can guide us with their experience. Those who have been through hell and came out the other side. I love autobiographies written during the last few years of someone’s life. They pass on knowledge hoping someone from the next generation will benefit.

Serve to be Great

Be hard on yourself and be empathetic to others. At the end of the day, we only have control over ourselves. 

I have strong opinions about what is right and wrong, but our standards are for us. Don’t waste time judging others. You don’t know their story and why they do what they do. The best way to lead is by example. What we say means little. What we do is what matters.

Our past is not an excuse to mess up our future. “Trauma” isn’t an excuse. Every moment is a choice. It’s a choice to let our past define our future. Pick the lessons you want from your past and move on. 

Live Every Moment

Death is not an event that happens. In reality, we die every day. Every moment that has passed is our past life. It is us dying.

As you read this, you are dying. This is time you’ll never get back. So live. You’re responsible.